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About Deviant Artist Official Beta Tester HeatherFemale/United States Groups :iconbigcats: BigCats
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As with many particles the Kitten Particle is difficult for science to describe and define because known means of observation alter its behavior.

What little is suspected about this particle can only be considered theory, as there is strong evidence Kitten Particles mess up the evidence deliberately.

This article will summarize what theories there are.

1.  Where you think the particle is is always wrong.

Kitten Particles move faster than the speed of light and have always moved on once you have confirmed a location.  For example, questions like "Where's Drogo?" can be answered with "On the cat tree!" but this answer is always wrong.  By the time the questioner looks to the cat tree for the particle it has moved on to at least three different locations.

2.  Kitten Particles defy known laws of physics.  Gravity has no effect on Kitten Particles, nor does the Pauli exclusion principle which states  "No two objects can occupy the same place at the same time."  Kitten Particles occupy plenty of already occupied spaces, especially if the other object objects to having its space occupied.  The greater the chance of objection to occupation, the more likely a Kitten Particle will be attracted to any occupied space.  This principle is multiplied exponentially if a point in space/time is designated for getting something done.  For example, Mom's keyboard has a moderate chance of attracting a kitten particle if she is playing Solitaire, but a much higher chance of attracting one if she is trying to answer e-mails or modify lesson plans.

As previously stated, the Kitten Particle is unaffected by the law of gravity and can alter its mass at will (this trait will continue once the Kitten Particle has decayed into a Cat Particle.)  The Kitten Particles has no mass when it is traveling in the direction of forbidden counter-tops and sleeping siblings.  It can levitate and ricochet mid-air off invisible objects.  However, it will obtain infinite mass when being acted on by an outside force, such as when being removed from an older sister's food bowl, or in fact, being removed from an older sister. 

3  Kitten Particles alter the space/time continuum.  Kitten Particles can change day into night and night into day.  If a Kitten Particles invades your home you can kiss your Circadian rhythms goodbye.

4.  Kitten Particles answer the age-old conundrum of "What happens when an unstoppable force meets an indestructible object?"  The answer is simple.  There are no indestructible objects.

More observations will follow.  Right now my research is mostly focused on preventing my subject from teleporting itself behind the entertainment center, the washing machine, and into my closet.  Please let me know if you have anything to contribute.  Soon we hope to include external forces such as "compressed air cans" and "squirt guns" to see if humans can, in fact, alter the course of a Kitten Particle.

Addendum:  I have also begun studies on such phenomenon as "Scary action at a distance," which is a mind bending concept in particle physics but which is a common occurrence in Kitten particle behavior.  "Scary action at a distance" is any action that a Kitten Particle is engaging in that the human observer is too far away to prevent.  The warping of space/time around the Kitten Particle becomes more pronounced during "Scary action at a distance" in direct proportion to the number and value of breakable objects involved.  The Human observer will find that time is stretched - much as it would be around a black hole - and the distance to the Kitten Particle expands to infinity.  Humans caught in this phenomenon report a "Slow Motion" sensation.  Space/time will snap back to normal speeds once breakable objects have hit the floor.  The slow-motion effect will also kick in when the human observer attempts to verify Kitten Particle behavior - either through electronic recording mechanisms ("Where's my camera?") or through secondary human observation.  ("Come see what the cat's doing!  Never mind.  He stopped.")

It is suspected there may be some link between "Scary action at a distance" and "Disturbing Noises in the Middle of the Night" and the unnerving, "It's been quiet for a while.  What the Heck is he up to?" phenomenon. 
  • Mood: Dead
  • Listening to: futile attempt by MGM to control Kitten Particle
  • Reading: Game of Thrones...again
  • Watching: Arrow
  • Playing: Sega Bass Fishing...don't ask
  • Eating: Yup
  • Drinking: coffeecoffeeCOFFEEcoffeecoffeecoffee


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ScarabsCorner Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hi :) just wondering did I send you an invite to my group yet?
illmatar Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014
You did.  I'm still debating about it.  On the one hand, it's definitely my kind of group.  On the other, I'm already a member of 90 some groups and, for instance, right now I haven't checked deviations in a few days.  This gives 5,426 deviations to look at.  I have been trying to downsize my list (With little success actually...I'm pretty attached.)  :/    I have promised myself I won't join anything new until I've reduced a bunch.  Thanks for the invite though.
ScarabsCorner Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ah ok :) also trying to remember if I sent you a note a while back?
DrStarchild Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2014
I'm really like your stories, though I'm very new to the Transformers fandom. Since you say you're an oldbie, would you happen to know some old archives of fanfiction that predate all the modern websites? I kinda like the way people used to write stories more than the modern ones.
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