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As with many particles the Kitten Particle is difficult for science to describe and define because known means of observation alter its behavior.

What little is suspected about this particle can only be considered theory, as there is strong evidence Kitten Particles mess up the evidence deliberately.

This article will summarize what theories there are.

1.  Where you think the particle is is always wrong.

Kitten Particles move faster than the speed of light and have always moved on once you have confirmed a location.  For example, questions like "Where's Drogo?" can be answered with "On the cat tree!" but this answer is always wrong.  By the time the questioner looks to the cat tree for the particle it has moved on to at least three different locations.

2.  Kitten Particles defy known laws of physics.  Gravity has no effect on Kitten Particles, nor does the Pauli exclusion principle which states  "No two objects can occupy the same place at the same time."  Kitten Particles occupy plenty of already occupied spaces, especially if the other object objects to having its space occupied.  The greater the chance of objection to occupation, the more likely a Kitten Particle will be attracted to any occupied space.  This principle is multiplied exponentially if a point in space/time is designated for getting something done.  For example, Mom's keyboard has a moderate chance of attracting a kitten particle if she is playing Solitaire, but a much higher chance of attracting one if she is trying to answer e-mails or modify lesson plans.

As previously stated, the Kitten Particle is unaffected by the law of gravity and can alter its mass at will (this trait will continue once the Kitten Particle has decayed into a Cat Particle.)  The Kitten Particles has no mass when it is traveling in the direction of forbidden counter-tops and sleeping siblings.  It can levitate and ricochet mid-air off invisible objects.  However, it will obtain infinite mass when being acted on by an outside force, such as when being removed from an older sister's food bowl, or in fact, being removed from an older sister. 

3  Kitten Particles alter the space/time continuum.  Kitten Particles can change day into night and night into day.  If a Kitten Particles invades your home you can kiss your Circadian rhythms goodbye.

4.  Kitten Particles answer the age-old conundrum of "What happens when an unstoppable force meets an indestructible object?"  The answer is simple.  There are no indestructible objects.

More observations will follow.  Right now my research is mostly focused on preventing my subject from teleporting itself behind the entertainment center, the washing machine, and into my closet.  Please let me know if you have anything to contribute.  Soon we hope to include external forces such as "compressed air cans" and "squirt guns" to see if humans can, in fact, alter the course of a Kitten Particle.

Addendum:  I have also begun studies on such phenomenon as "Scary action at a distance," which is a mind bending concept in particle physics but which is a common occurrence in Kitten particle behavior.  "Scary action at a distance" is any action that a Kitten Particle is engaging in that the human observer is too far away to prevent.  The warping of space/time around the Kitten Particle becomes more pronounced during "Scary action at a distance" in direct proportion to the number and value of breakable objects involved.  The Human observer will find that time is stretched - much as it would be around a black hole - and the distance to the Kitten Particle expands to infinity.  Humans caught in this phenomenon report a "Slow Motion" sensation.  Space/time will snap back to normal speeds once breakable objects have hit the floor.  The slow-motion effect will also kick in when the human observer attempts to verify Kitten Particle behavior - either through electronic recording mechanisms ("Where's my camera?") or through secondary human observation.  ("Come see what the cat's doing!  Never mind.  He stopped.")

It is suspected there may be some link between "Scary action at a distance" and "Disturbing Noises in the Middle of the Night" and the unnerving, "It's been quiet for a while.  What the Heck is he up to?" phenomenon.

Addendum add-on-um...  Kitten particles can also alter their state of matter from solid to liquid or gas at will.  For instance, the solid mass that is gnawing on your arm will instantly become a gelatinous ooze that can not be grasped when you attempt to remove the mass from your arm.  Gnawing will continue for as long as the the liquid form can evade capture.  Then suddenly the entire mass will evaporate into the wind and vanish...usually when help arrives to blow it away with a particle cannon.  (In our house the particle cannon is an old spray bottle filled with H2O.)

It has been observed that our current kitten particle is repulsed explosively by water, but this does not hold true with all such particles.  Our Maine Coon particle (perhaps more like a neutron star than a particle....topped out at 25 pounds) had enough of a force field of long fur that no liquid ever made direct contact.  The Royal Particle Moriah, on the other hand, would simply narrow a glare your direction - as if to say "You wouldn't dare!"  She was right too...generally we didn't and if we did we were soon sorry.
  • Mood: Dead
  • Listening to: futile attempt by MGM to control Kitten Particle
  • Reading: Game of Thrones...again
  • Watching: Arrow
  • Playing: Sega Bass Fishing...don't ask
  • Eating: Yup
  • Drinking: coffeecoffeeCOFFEEcoffeecoffeecoffee


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Nerake Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Thanks for fav :) (Smile) 
illmatar Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014
Illusionna Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2014
I was just putting in an avatar, as you can see, and putting the cover imagine on the chapters of Stasis Lock that I hadn't put on yet, and I thought, "How lucky am I, that I have someone who loves me enough to draw me a picture...just because they love me."
illmatar Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014
I does love thee ya know!  Miss you too, and wish we could hang out more.  Once a year was bad enough, but now we are pulling more like once a decade.
Illusionna Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014
I know. We're old.
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